So here we are - a family of 4 including 2 kids with pretty healthy appetites. Which is fine by me cause I'd rather have them eat than not. So you can imagine my discoOmfort as a mother when I had to sit down and tell the kids that we would be moving to a system of eating on alternate days. Girls on Tues, Thurs, Sat and Boys on Mon, Weds, Fri. Sundays, Bailey the Dog will eat. True to form, Caroline immediately started a list about what meals her days should include and Jamie just stared at us and uttered 'macaroni and cheese'. I realize that this seems like a harsh policy but it is the reality when you need to walk miles for your food, slay it in the grocery store and then bring it back in your knapsack. If we were anything but suburban, white, Torontonions with big butts and an appetite for computer games then this might not have been such an issue. Mighty hunters we are not - except maybe in a virtual world.
The Albert Hypermarket is a 15 minute walk from our house. Well, 15 minutes for most people; 20 for me. I have bad knees you know. The daily walk to Albert was fun at first, but then the operative word became 'daily'. Fun quickly becomes drudgery when you need to walk every day in order to build up any kind of inventory in the fridge or the cupboards. Keeping food in the house when the only vehicle you own is a vintage '64 FEET, is a challenge - volume is simply not doable and deciding who gets to eat the 1 yogourt you could carry home, is no fun at all. Well, who is kidding who, it was fun when I won the yogourt. - especially blueberry. I like blueberry. It didn't take long to figure out that the alternating feeding schedule and yogourt contests simply weren't working. The kids were whining about how unfair it was that the other kids got to eat everyday. And I totally got their point. I was cranky too as hard as that is to imagine. It was time to buy a car.
Except, in the Czech Republic, unless you are an EU citizen, you need to have a long term visa in order to buy and register a car with the SFPD (Secret Foreign Police Dudes) and of course, we only have a short term visa for now. So out on the internet I searched on 'cheap porsches, Czech Republic, 500ck, low mileage, driven by old lady'. While that search didn't yield much, it did lead me to Ciarnan Kelly, or 'just call me Kelly', for short. Kelly is an American living in Prague who has been selling cars there for years (at least that's what it said on the internet so it had to be true, right?). I decided to email him first as I didn't want to appear too eager. He replied immediately with the information that we wanted - and a solution to our problem; I couldn't believe our luck. Because he was so helpful through his emails, we asked if he would send a car to come and get us so that we could look at cars on his lot. Kelly works for AAAAuto and immediately cause of the name I got this whole image in my head of Herb Tarlek sitting behind his desk - which would be situated outside on the car lot - and who has trouble trying not to laugh at the rubes coming by to look at the crap he has for sale.
True to his word, he sent a car for us and after it was an hour late in getting there, we finally did manage to meet him. The image of the lot wasn't far off, but Kelly wasn't any Herb Tarlek; unless Herb is wondering around in Levis and a Red Sox t-shirt. Turns out that Kelly doesn't sell cars anymore, but is instead something much more important in the AAAAuto world but he had decided to take us on as a charity case. I knew the alternating feeding schedule would work in our favour somehow....
After looking at car on the lot which I had deemed as being 'cool' and pretty I was ready to buy. Stu however felt that perhaps we should do a test drive. Details details... At any rate, after 4 hours of backing and forthing and Kelly being very patient and us having endless discussions about what happens if the car we've chosen doesn't have cruise control, or brakes, would that be a problem...we decided to buy. (Its now 10pm and I'm glowing orange again because I am so tired).
But now comes the hard part. Paperwork. Turns out the contracts would be in Czech. The insurance would be in Czech and, this is my personal favourite, because we didn't have the right visa, we would have to register the car in someone elses name. So in essence, buying a car means that you sign a legal document that you can't read, deposit $20,000 into a secret bank account, and then hand the asset over to someone else. Sounds about right to me. So that what we did. Martin, whom at the time we had known for 2 weeks, 'agreed' to own our car. Kelly 'agreed' to keep our $20,000 in his bank account and the SFPD agreed not to arrest us for not having the right visa. Another tick in the win column
Cesky Raj
A trip to Cesky Raj
Caroline in a treetop climb
Jamie at Cesky Raj Park
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
How do you spell buracracy
I have been told several times to expect bad service, long line ups and general disdain for my angliky-ness when ever you are dealing with the Czech government. This past week was a total test of that theory and I was not disappointed.
First stop health care.
You need to first understand the sluzby (service) culture here. Do you remember the lady who growled at me in the Kika when I was trying to get the Kika bus instead of walking home with unfinished furniture in my knapsack? NO BUS FOR YOU! Ya well, she turned out to be nice in comparison to many of the clerks, cashiers and other workers that we've had the pleasure of meeting. I suppose if I were making the equivalent of $15 a day, I'd be grumpy too. But these people take it to a whole new level. Its funny how people adjust cause now we just expect it. In fact if we don't get yelled at or ignored, we think we've done something wrong.
Just in case you thought getting OHIP ( ontario health insurance) was onerous, try getting public health care in CZ.
Before you can get health care, you need to have a visa and an employment contract. Imagine you are out for a country drive and you end up in a town that has a friend that you haven't seen in ages. You arrive totally unexpected; you, the kids, the dog. No car. A bank account, but no paycheque. A nice school for your kids, but no way of paying the tuition. You also have no furniture, but that is totally your problem. Your friend, not knowing what else to do, ignores you for say, 2 weeks, despite your pleas. And then after figuring out that you are not going away, scrambles into action. For us, that friend was IBM Czech Republic.
Despite the countless emails and meetings, IBM CZ seemed to be totally unaware that we were coming. And what does this have to do with health care you are asking? Well when you move to a foreign country and you trying to figure out who pays when you have your stress induced heart attack, health care becomes a concern. It would appear that sluzby, or lack of it, begins at home.
Fast forward a few weeks and we have all the paperwork (as well as temporary health insurance) and I am now ready to bravely face the people at the VZP (which is the national health care program) in order to get full coverage. On this particular morning, I take the kids to school with Stu and he then drives me to the address written on the piece of paper I've been given. I'm not sure why I was expecting there to be a sign on the outside of the building but I was. Clearly I was setting myself up for disappointment. We are now somewhere in Prague where the only word I recognize is 'porn'. No one speaks English and everyone is in a hurry. I go into a lekarna, which is a drug store, figuring that they might know. I politely point to the VZP words I have written. I politely get ignored - that is until I step in front of clerk and shove my paper in front of her and dance the 'where the f*** is this place' dance. Good news....she knows!
Turns out that the VZP office is a tiny hole in the wall on the first floor of a hospital complex. As far as I can tell I am the only one who thinks that labeling or numbering the doors would be a good idea. Actually, Stu thinks so too since he has been trying to find me since parking the car. At any rate we are together now and we enter the waiting area. There is a numbering system in the waiting room and this particular machine has 8 options to take a number, each labeled with the particular service you need. None of them are labeled as 'porn' and as a result we have no idea about the services so we take one of each. Funny enough, everyone in the waiting area is surprised when one of our numbers comes up first before all the others. We totally march in ahead of everyone else having skipped the entire queue. I am expecting to be tackled at any moment so as we walk in, I don't breathe a word of angliky and position myself strategically in front of Stu so that if something happens, he'll take brunt of it and not me. Me so clever.
The lady expecting us is sitting behind a desk in a small open concept area. Maybe 5 desks in total. There will be no secret conversations in this room. Every one will know who you are and why you are there. We approach the desk, each with our great big Canadian grins on, and say 'dobre den' just like any average czech. That, however, is the end of the civilities because the next words I use happen to be in English and that apparently is enough to send her into a not so happy place. She looks at us with the same stare i've seen before - the kind that comes with an out of body experience that says this cannot be happening to me. Usually though, they are reserved for things like car accidents and heart attacks and not because someone speaks English. Fortunately, it only lasts a second before it turns into a rather large and somewhat exaggerated shrug of the shoulders accompanied by the word 'angliky' uttered in a 'you gotta be kidding me ' tone. This is enough for the others in the office to peak out from behind their computer monitors and giggle in that 'ha ha, you lose' kinda manner.
Going well so far I think.
I am now emptying my knapsack and producing every piece of paper I have ever received or signed with regard to our move. This includes my employment contract, lease agreement and passport. I even produce the last grocery receipt for recently purchased toilet paper. My thinking here is that if I am buying toilet paper I must be serious about being part of the Czech society.
I am now expecting hands to be thrown up in the air and another shrug. Instead another lady comes over and in very halting English asks for my name. I show it to her on one of the papers (and no it wasn't the toilet paper receipt as it has been several years since you've had to provide ID to purchase toilet paper). She types my name into the computer and prints a 1 page document, applies an official red stamp of some kind and that's it, I've got health care. At least I think so as there is nothing in my language to indicate that this is really what I've accomplished. She, however, is convinced that her job is done and we are expected to leave. I spend 10 minutes gathering up my papers and she watches every move ensuring that we are actually going to walk out. As if we were gonna hang.
First stop health care.
You need to first understand the sluzby (service) culture here. Do you remember the lady who growled at me in the Kika when I was trying to get the Kika bus instead of walking home with unfinished furniture in my knapsack? NO BUS FOR YOU! Ya well, she turned out to be nice in comparison to many of the clerks, cashiers and other workers that we've had the pleasure of meeting. I suppose if I were making the equivalent of $15 a day, I'd be grumpy too. But these people take it to a whole new level. Its funny how people adjust cause now we just expect it. In fact if we don't get yelled at or ignored, we think we've done something wrong.
Just in case you thought getting OHIP ( ontario health insurance) was onerous, try getting public health care in CZ.
Before you can get health care, you need to have a visa and an employment contract. Imagine you are out for a country drive and you end up in a town that has a friend that you haven't seen in ages. You arrive totally unexpected; you, the kids, the dog. No car. A bank account, but no paycheque. A nice school for your kids, but no way of paying the tuition. You also have no furniture, but that is totally your problem. Your friend, not knowing what else to do, ignores you for say, 2 weeks, despite your pleas. And then after figuring out that you are not going away, scrambles into action. For us, that friend was IBM Czech Republic.
Despite the countless emails and meetings, IBM CZ seemed to be totally unaware that we were coming. And what does this have to do with health care you are asking? Well when you move to a foreign country and you trying to figure out who pays when you have your stress induced heart attack, health care becomes a concern. It would appear that sluzby, or lack of it, begins at home.
Fast forward a few weeks and we have all the paperwork (as well as temporary health insurance) and I am now ready to bravely face the people at the VZP (which is the national health care program) in order to get full coverage. On this particular morning, I take the kids to school with Stu and he then drives me to the address written on the piece of paper I've been given. I'm not sure why I was expecting there to be a sign on the outside of the building but I was. Clearly I was setting myself up for disappointment. We are now somewhere in Prague where the only word I recognize is 'porn'. No one speaks English and everyone is in a hurry. I go into a lekarna, which is a drug store, figuring that they might know. I politely point to the VZP words I have written. I politely get ignored - that is until I step in front of clerk and shove my paper in front of her and dance the 'where the f*** is this place' dance. Good news....she knows!
Turns out that the VZP office is a tiny hole in the wall on the first floor of a hospital complex. As far as I can tell I am the only one who thinks that labeling or numbering the doors would be a good idea. Actually, Stu thinks so too since he has been trying to find me since parking the car. At any rate we are together now and we enter the waiting area. There is a numbering system in the waiting room and this particular machine has 8 options to take a number, each labeled with the particular service you need. None of them are labeled as 'porn' and as a result we have no idea about the services so we take one of each. Funny enough, everyone in the waiting area is surprised when one of our numbers comes up first before all the others. We totally march in ahead of everyone else having skipped the entire queue. I am expecting to be tackled at any moment so as we walk in, I don't breathe a word of angliky and position myself strategically in front of Stu so that if something happens, he'll take brunt of it and not me. Me so clever.
The lady expecting us is sitting behind a desk in a small open concept area. Maybe 5 desks in total. There will be no secret conversations in this room. Every one will know who you are and why you are there. We approach the desk, each with our great big Canadian grins on, and say 'dobre den' just like any average czech. That, however, is the end of the civilities because the next words I use happen to be in English and that apparently is enough to send her into a not so happy place. She looks at us with the same stare i've seen before - the kind that comes with an out of body experience that says this cannot be happening to me. Usually though, they are reserved for things like car accidents and heart attacks and not because someone speaks English. Fortunately, it only lasts a second before it turns into a rather large and somewhat exaggerated shrug of the shoulders accompanied by the word 'angliky' uttered in a 'you gotta be kidding me ' tone. This is enough for the others in the office to peak out from behind their computer monitors and giggle in that 'ha ha, you lose' kinda manner.
Going well so far I think.
I am now emptying my knapsack and producing every piece of paper I have ever received or signed with regard to our move. This includes my employment contract, lease agreement and passport. I even produce the last grocery receipt for recently purchased toilet paper. My thinking here is that if I am buying toilet paper I must be serious about being part of the Czech society.
I am now expecting hands to be thrown up in the air and another shrug. Instead another lady comes over and in very halting English asks for my name. I show it to her on one of the papers (and no it wasn't the toilet paper receipt as it has been several years since you've had to provide ID to purchase toilet paper). She types my name into the computer and prints a 1 page document, applies an official red stamp of some kind and that's it, I've got health care. At least I think so as there is nothing in my language to indicate that this is really what I've accomplished. She, however, is convinced that her job is done and we are expected to leave. I spend 10 minutes gathering up my papers and she watches every move ensuring that we are actually going to walk out. As if we were gonna hang.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
And yes I've disappeared for a while. Life just has a way of of being all or nothing and in the past two weeks, it's been both. As of August 31, I was cut off from IBM Canada and while I expected it to happen it became apparent that IBM CZ did not. As of today, Sept 13, I am mostly functional again. And it has taken that long to get me a CZ ID card, CZ email, a new computer and an application for a corporate credit card. I am however still missing my lunch vouchers. I'm not exactly sure what they are but I think that, by law, IBM has to subsidize my eating. I expect that there are not enough vouchers to subsidize my drinking. Sigh....
Still in the all or nothing category, Mike and Christina arrived with Bailey the dog on the exact same day that we finally got our furniture. I was away when it all happened but from what I understand, Bailey was more than a little annoyed that we left her and moved to another continent. I really don't get it. Not only did we leave her at the Ross Dog Spa in Smiths Falls where she was in more than capable hands, I made it a point to tell her what was happening. I opened a bottle of red and sat her down and explained that we were moving and that she would follow. Apparently, she has the selective hearing of any other child and only heard blah, blah, blah, leaving, blah, blah, 9 hours in a crate, blah, blah, pee on your blanket while in the crate at 36,000 ft. As you can see I really glammed it up but she was having none of it.
We spent the weekend in Czesky Raj again and this time we packed a lunch rather than chance the larded chleb and chicken smoz from a couple of weeks back. We took Mike and Christina there and they found it just as beautiful as we did. We stayed in a lovely chateau built on a sandstone overhang with a gorgeous view. Miles from nowhere. Which becomes important when you arrive at recepce and they point politely to the 'we do not accept credit cards' sign and wait while you try to find the billion Czech krown from your pockets to prepay the bill. Alas, lint is not legal tender so off we go back to town to find a bank machine that will give us enough cash. 45 minutes later we are back at the chateau and can actually continue our day as all debts have been paid - including 100 ck for Bailey the dog to stay with us.
After hiking for a bit we decided to drive to Jicin which is a town about 30 mins south of where we were staying. Jicin was hosting the annual Fairies festival under the stars and we all thought it would be neat to go see. Hmmmm...
Any guesses as to what we got?
Take a small town square. Add one heavy metal band. 20 Czech fast food kiosks. Too many teenagers in tight jeans, white tennis shoes and some kinda t-shirt. A generous dose of mullet hair cuts. Cheesy dollar store stuff. And the entire town population..and you got yourself a Fairies festival. We lasted long enough to try some of the food. I had some kinda potato thing with onions and sauerkraut and cheese and a whole lot of yum. There was also smoked ham on the spit served with a slice of rye and horseradish. It reminded me of the Food Building at the Ex. Good, fast and cheap but mostly regrettable within 12 hours of consumption.
All in all though a very good weekend.
Still in the all or nothing category, Mike and Christina arrived with Bailey the dog on the exact same day that we finally got our furniture. I was away when it all happened but from what I understand, Bailey was more than a little annoyed that we left her and moved to another continent. I really don't get it. Not only did we leave her at the Ross Dog Spa in Smiths Falls where she was in more than capable hands, I made it a point to tell her what was happening. I opened a bottle of red and sat her down and explained that we were moving and that she would follow. Apparently, she has the selective hearing of any other child and only heard blah, blah, blah, leaving, blah, blah, 9 hours in a crate, blah, blah, pee on your blanket while in the crate at 36,000 ft. As you can see I really glammed it up but she was having none of it.
We spent the weekend in Czesky Raj again and this time we packed a lunch rather than chance the larded chleb and chicken smoz from a couple of weeks back. We took Mike and Christina there and they found it just as beautiful as we did. We stayed in a lovely chateau built on a sandstone overhang with a gorgeous view. Miles from nowhere. Which becomes important when you arrive at recepce and they point politely to the 'we do not accept credit cards' sign and wait while you try to find the billion Czech krown from your pockets to prepay the bill. Alas, lint is not legal tender so off we go back to town to find a bank machine that will give us enough cash. 45 minutes later we are back at the chateau and can actually continue our day as all debts have been paid - including 100 ck for Bailey the dog to stay with us.
After hiking for a bit we decided to drive to Jicin which is a town about 30 mins south of where we were staying. Jicin was hosting the annual Fairies festival under the stars and we all thought it would be neat to go see. Hmmmm...
Any guesses as to what we got?
Take a small town square. Add one heavy metal band. 20 Czech fast food kiosks. Too many teenagers in tight jeans, white tennis shoes and some kinda t-shirt. A generous dose of mullet hair cuts. Cheesy dollar store stuff. And the entire town population..and you got yourself a Fairies festival. We lasted long enough to try some of the food. I had some kinda potato thing with onions and sauerkraut and cheese and a whole lot of yum. There was also smoked ham on the spit served with a slice of rye and horseradish. It reminded me of the Food Building at the Ex. Good, fast and cheap but mostly regrettable within 12 hours of consumption.
All in all though a very good weekend.
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